I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
