these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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