this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
