he wants to bone in the snuggie
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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