I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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