I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
