this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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