There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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