i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
