There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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