Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
