I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Quick, to the slutcave!
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
