id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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