He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
