its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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