omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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