love makes seman taste better
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
