We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
