He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
