Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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