so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
