Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
