So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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