It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize
