I just saw a hot homeless man
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Randomize
