So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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