he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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