You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
