Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
