oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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