okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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