Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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