I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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