Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
