I hope mine doesn't look like that
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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