You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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