the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
