There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
