dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Randomize
