Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
