It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
