After last night, I could never be a politician.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
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