You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
