in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
