wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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