so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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