Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
