office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
