I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
