Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
