at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
