Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I accidentally burped into my bong.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
