Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
